Big Boob Upside? Bra-Squirreling
December 17 2020 – Athena Kasvikis
There’s been a lot of nastiness going around lately in the world so we’re going to lighten things up this week.
Big boobs are a blessing girl.
No seriously. I totally get the back and neck pain we ladies are saddled with or the shoulder divots (yours truly over here has an exceptional pair that make me look like my traps are really well developed.)
But that’s just one side of things. We should spend more time exploring the “upsides” of large titties.
So let’s talk about the amazingness of all of the extra storage space we’re packing.
Storage space? Boob pockets? Yes.
Hear me out.
I went on a long walk yesterday to clear my head. Beautiful sunshine in December is a gift and taking full advantage of it, I got in a good 5 miles.
But I left right around my lunchtime and was desperately hungry. So instead of slowing up and eating before I went, missing prime sunshine hours, I decided to “pack” a little snack.
“Packing a little snack” is likely not what you’re thinking. No, I didn’t carry a little plastic baggie around with me with a sandwich or a bag of chips. That would’ve been cumbersome and not at all circumspect.
Instead, I found some candy from Halloween and decided to stuff it in the right side of my sports bra to leisurely enjoy as I did my rounds.
Then I put the wrappers on the left side of my bra so I didn’t litter.
Essentially, I squirreled away fun candy at the very top of my bra cups and because I have larger boobs that completely fill out my sports bra, I was able to use the space above the breast as a holding container.
You know what I’m saying if you have a large chest. We’ve all boob-squirreled away something at one time or another.
I once did this unknowingly in front of 20 people. While giving a report in an executive meeting, I apparently reached into a bowl of wrapped mints, took one out, put it in my bra for later, and kept talking like it was nothing.
And it was nothing, to me. However, some co-workers noticed and thought it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen. Apparently this “boob squirrel” behavior is not shared by men or some women, and not a normal sight at a business meeting. Who knew?
But it’s such a perk. And I love that we’re the only ones with this super pocket-like power.
Men can’t squirrel away mints or candy in their breasts. I cannot even imagine the size of the pectoral muscles that would be required to even lightly rest something on them.
Smaller-breasted women don’t have much space in their bras on top, so I’m pretty sure that they’re not tucking items in there. Correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s not much additional holding room in a B-Cup bra.
I’m not even going to get into the joys of wearing a Behave bra while out and about. The Stayz are like huge pockets that keep your boobs in place and reduce jiggle while walking, sure.
But did you also realize that they totally increase your squirrel storage space? They’re like an extra trunk on a car with the amount of additional space they provide.
Not that I’m recommending you throw your car keys in there or anything….like I did the other day…. I think we’ll hold off on this new brilliant marketing tactic for a while longer maybe.
Big breasted women are the natural pack mules of our sex.
We may have to carry around 4-5 lbs. of breast, but we sure as heck don’t let that stop us from cramming in a few more things when we need to.
Think of what amazing concert dates we are (the mini liquor bottles I’ve taken into concerts in my youth was outstanding) and we’re exceptional holders of things without needing the use of our hands.
Sometimes it seems as if I’m in the middle of a magic show at night when I take off my bra. I wouldn’t be surprised to pull a rabbit outta there some nights.
I once found a room key in my bra. Like a long plastic one for my hotel room. Well, it wasn’t in my bra exactly.
Originally I must have stuck it in my bra for safe-keeping. But as I laid down in bed that night, I discovered it embedded to my chest. I must have had a spare key somewhere else because the one on my chest had been stuck there a good long while.
So let’s give ourselves an extra hand for being so awesome (while we stuff our snacks in our bras.) We are amazing in so many ways, and having additional carrying powers must be given its rightful due.
While I love pockets, knowing that I can survive without them if I had to is kinda awesome.
Now only if there were some way to monetize these skills….